Stupid Rubix cube

Morning before husband goes to work , I'm sitting on the couch fiddling with a rubix cube.

Husband: who's the rubix cube belong too.

Me : one of the lunch kids left it here. Bloody thing can't be done.

Husband: sure it can, see you have to start with the middle rows and rectify in multiples of eight moves click click click click click click click click click. See? (Presents an annoyingly perfect cube, messes it up again)Here you try it, have a good day!

Husband returns from work:

Husband: so did you figure out your rubix cube?

Me : I don't want to talk about it.

Husband: Where is it?

Me : it may or my not be at the bottom of the pool.

Husband: Poor sport.

Me: It looked dehydrated.

Cadets!

Taking big boy to cadets for the first time...
In the car:

Me: you know they'll probably want you to cut your hair right?

Kid: Prffft, it's my hair I can do what I want.

Me: well I'm not sure that's how it works kid

Kid: I'm not doing it.

Me: well, your call kid, your hair your activities...but you konw hair grows back

Kid: No

Me: Mrgggg (à la Marge Simpson)

We get to the cadets:

Sargent: Welcome Cadet, you need to cut that mop off.

Kid: OK.

I find my lack of authority disturbing....

Burn in hell Web MD

So Ive been feeling extra tired a slightly feverish all day. I googled weakness and fever and the interweb pretty much convinced me I've got 52 minutes to live. NO GOOD EVER COMES OUT OF WEB MD! Someone needs to band my access to these sites for my own good.

Breakfast of Champions!

So I woke up a few minutes after the twins this morning. They apparently made themselves breakfast... Cheese doodles and strawberry quick. It's a nutritious part of a complete breakfast.

A heck of a promotion

Gabrielle -  Mommy? I don't want to only spend the holidays at Chateau Montebello this year, I want us to live there all year long!

Me - Ouch...

Gabrielle - We can't?

Me - For our family to live at the Chateau Montebello all year long it would cost about $300,000...

Gabrielle - That's a lot?

Me - Well lets jsut say that Daddy would need a heck of a promotion.

Gabrielle - Oh.

A few hours later Husband comes home from work and is greeted at the Door by Gabbie.

Gabrielle -  Hi Daddy, do you have a heck of a promotion?

Husband- .... ermmm..

We're all mad here

Husband is in the habit of calling a few times a day to see how I'm doing (I think he's making sure I haven't sold any of the kids).

Husband - How's your day?

Me - Nath won't do his homework, Gabbie got Gum in her hair, I had to cut it out, David decided it was a good idea and cut his own bangs and the twins have been in a wrestling match going on 2 hours now. My money's on Adie...

Husband - so normal day?

Me- ya.

Sad reality

I remember a time when opening the drawer underneath my oven and finding pee in my muffin tins would have surprised me...

I also remember when finding a fresh pancake under the Christmas tree when I haven't actually made pancakes for months would have made me question my sanity.

Oh and when when I use to think words like "kid stop licking your brother" and "no you may not wear my underwear on your head to school for "red and white day, I don't care if you can't find anything that fits the bill in your drawer" would never leave my lips.

In those days the though that the cause behind my toilet overflowing might be 3 toothbrushes and a troll doll stuck in the plumbing.

Sad , sad new reality....