Snow Whale

Hey have you ever looked at a super long snow bank and felt too lazy to walk all the way around it when the door to the business you're trying to get to is like right in front of you? So you look at the snow bank and say to yourself "meh, looks compact enough" and you start climbing the thing and before you know it, both your legs sink completely in and you're standing there with snow up to your crotch like a 36 year old toddler? And you just know that when you try to get your legs out of there your damn boots and socks will stay embedded in the bottom of the snow bank and pretty soon you'll be crawling around the top of the thing, on your stomach, bare feet trying to get your boots out of the God forsaken thing looking like a beached whale in a parka? No? Well you should try it, it's good exercise.

Merry Freakin Christmas

There are Christmas balls and garlands and lights all over the freaking floors... I'm pretty sure Adie's eaten the baby Jesus and I found tinsel merrily boiling in my marinara sauce. The house looked great for about 30 seconds after I finished decorating. Now it looks like the Taliban hit Santa's workshop. I've way too many children. That is all.

Stupid Rubix cube

Morning before husband goes to work , I'm sitting on the couch fiddling with a rubix cube.

Husband: who's the rubix cube belong too.

Me : one of the lunch kids left it here. Bloody thing can't be done.

Husband: sure it can, see you have to start with the middle rows and rectify in multiples of eight moves click click click click click click click click click. See? (Presents an annoyingly perfect cube, messes it up again)Here you try it, have a good day!

Husband returns from work:

Husband: so did you figure out your rubix cube?

Me : I don't want to talk about it.

Husband: Where is it?

Me : it may or my not be at the bottom of the pool.

Husband: Poor sport.

Me: It looked dehydrated.

Cadets!

Taking big boy to cadets for the first time...
In the car:

Me: you know they'll probably want you to cut your hair right?

Kid: Prffft, it's my hair I can do what I want.

Me: well I'm not sure that's how it works kid

Kid: I'm not doing it.

Me: well, your call kid, your hair your activities...but you konw hair grows back

Kid: No

Me: Mrgggg (à la Marge Simpson)

We get to the cadets:

Sargent: Welcome Cadet, you need to cut that mop off.

Kid: OK.

I find my lack of authority disturbing....